#005 friend / 朋友
#005 friend / 朋友
Friend
According to the definitions of the online dictionary, Merriam-Webster, the word, friend, can mean a person who you like and enjoy being with; a person who helps or supports someone or something (such as a cause or charity) or an acquaintance.
朋友
Merriam-Webster線上辭典對於朋友的定義有幾個： 一個你喜歡並且喜歡其陪伴的人；一個幫助你或是支持你的人或者是一個熟人。
What’s your definition of ‘friend’?
Complete this sentence: A best friend is someone _____.
Most of us knew our best friends from high school or colleges, with whom we used to hang out every day. Those who we knew at high school had been through the hard time together. These friends are wha ‘BFF’ represents, best friends forever. Some other words are used in Chinese to mean best friends, such as guīmì, mìyǒu, zhījǐ, zhìyǒu , sǐdǎng , māji and so on.
After Facebook became popular in Taiwan, the definition of friend became vaguer and broader. It seemed that everyone could be everyone’s friends on social media. After I started working, the friends I made were quite different from those who I made friends with in my student life. There are work friends, friends from the same clubs, from the same gyms, and so on. It’s also common for those who are married and have kids have friends whose children go to the same school as their children do.
你對朋友定義是什麼？
完成這句話：摯友是一個_______的人。
很多好友通常是在高中或是大學時就認識的，朝夕相處，高中還有患難與共的情感，這些好友是那種是英文裡的BFF，「一輩子的好朋友」。用來形容最好的朋友在中文裡也有幾個不同的說法，閨蜜、知己、密友、 摯友、死黨、麻吉等。社交媒體臉書在台灣開始流行起來以後，朋友的定義變得更模糊一些，可以涵括的範圍有更廣了，似乎誰都可以加誰好友。出社會以後，交朋友這事情呢，跟以前學生時代時大有不同，有工作上的朋友，社團裡的朋友，通過運動認識的朋友等。或者是結婚生子後的人有交的朋友常是那些跟他們的小孩上同一個學校的朋友。
What does the word, best friend, mean to you?
Based on Aristotles, friendship can be categorised into three types: friendship based on usefulness, friendship based on pleasure, friendship based on virtue. The last one is what he regarded as the real friendship. The first type of friendship is based on the expectation to gain some advantages out of the association. The second type of friends are those who you enjoy their company and hanging out with them. The last one is those who you want to be with them because they are good and virtuous. I can see a little bit of these characteristics in my best friends.
什麼樣的朋友是真的好朋友呢？
根據古希臘哲學家亞里斯多德的分類，友誼分三種類型：基於互利的友誼，基於享樂的友誼和基於美德的友誼，他認為第三種是真正的友誼。第一種友誼說的是建立於期待能從彼此身上得到好處的那種友情。第二種則是那種在一起享樂、一起玩樂的朋友。最後一種是那種正直真誠的朋友。從我好友的身上，這些特點或多或少都存在。
Friendship with someone upright , someone faithful , and with someone of much information
Confucius’ remark about friendship also provided what injurious friendship is.
‘There are three friendships which are advantageous, and three which are injurious. Friendship with the upright; friendship with the sincere; and friendship with the man of much observation: these are advantageous. Friendship with the man of specious airs; friendship with the insinuatingly soft; and friendship with the glib-tongued: these are injurious. — Confucius Friendship, Men, Air Confucius (2013). “Confucian Analects, The Great Learning & The Doctrine of the Mean”, p.311, Courier Corporation.
友直、友諒、友多聞
孔子對友誼的定義還包括何謂損友。子曰：「益者三友，損者三友。友直，友諒，友多聞，益矣。友便辟，友善柔，友便佞，損矣。」有益的朋友有三種，與正直的人交朋友，與寬容誠信的人交友，與知識豐富的人交友，是友誼人生的。與習慣好爭辯、走邪道的人交朋友，與沒有原則善變的人交朋友，與慣於拍馬屁、逢迎諂媚的人交朋友，都是有害而無益的。
Make friends with people who want the best for you!
‘Friendship is mirror to presence and a testment to forgiveness. Friendship not only helps us see ourselves through other’s eyes, but can be sustained over the years only with someone who has repeatedly forgiven us for our trespasses, as we must find it in ourselves to forgive them in turn. ‘
‘Through the eyes of a real friendship an individual is larger than their everyday actions, and through the eyes of another we receive a greater sense of our own personhood, one we can aspire to, the one in whom they have most faith. Friendship is a moving frontier of understanding, not only of the self and the other but also of a possible and yet unlived future. ‘
-David Whyte, "-Consolations: The Solace, Nourishment and Underlying Meaning of Everyday Words"
跟希望你變得更好的人當朋友吧！
「友誼是面貌的鏡子，是寬恕的證明，協助我們從別人的眼睛看自己。多年的友誼若能維繫，必是因為對方一而再地原諒我們，我們也必以寬宥他們做為回報。」
節錄自大衛.懷特的《撫慰人心的52個關鍵詞》第72頁
「從真正朋友的角度來看，我們比日常舉止來得更寬廣。藉由別人的角度，我們更明白自己的特質，一個我們嚮往的方向，一個他們最相信的部分。友誼是不斷變動的理解的邊界，理解自己，理解他人，理解尚未實現卻可能成真的未來。」
節錄自大衛.懷特的《撫慰人心的52個關鍵詞》第73頁